Sometimes, I'd rather remember things the way I wish they were than the way they really happened.
- That time when Betsy found some really old nasty bacon behind the trash can, and I had no idea till after she'd eaten it and she came into my bedroom, beaming and proudly announcing, "That was the last piece of bacon!"
- The time I invited our neighbors over to dinner right before they moved and everything tasted so bad, even I didn't want to eat it. So I ate the only good part and they had to fend for themselves.
- The way I hated dress socks so I used to wear athletic socks to work... with black pants and heels. Every day.
- That time I wasn't paying attention to the lesson and thought the visual aid in Relief Society was a box of mints... so I totally ate one. (It wasn't even food. I spit it out and started laughing so hard I was hyperventilating.)
- How, as a kid, I used to proudly announce that I lived in a mortuary as a baby... and I'm pretty sure it freaked lots of kids out... some of whom could have been my friend had I not been so busy enjoying their odd looks that I started giving details about said residence.
- My hair in 8th grade. Perhaps no one's is that great in 8th grade, but, ah, few pictures remain to prove my point. I think this was an act of mercy on my parents' part.
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