Thursday, September 20, 2012

Reality is optional

Sometimes, I'd rather remember things the way I wish they were than the way they really happened.

  • That time when Betsy found some really old nasty bacon behind the trash can, and I had no idea till after she'd eaten it and she came into my bedroom, beaming and proudly announcing, "That was the last piece of bacon!"
  • The time I invited our neighbors over to dinner right before they moved and everything tasted so bad, even I didn't want to eat it.  So I ate the only good part and they had to fend for themselves.
  • The way I hated dress socks so I used to wear athletic socks to work... with black pants and heels.  Every day.
  • That time I wasn't paying attention to the lesson and thought the visual aid in Relief Society was a box of mints... so I totally ate one.  (It wasn't even food.  I spit it out and started laughing so hard I was hyperventilating.)
  • How, as a kid, I used to proudly announce that I lived in a mortuary as a baby... and I'm pretty sure it freaked lots of kids out... some of whom could have been my friend had I not been so busy enjoying their odd looks that I started giving details about said residence.
  • My hair in 8th grade.  Perhaps no one's is that great in 8th grade, but, ah, few pictures remain to prove my point.  I think this was an act of mercy on my parents' part.

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