Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A God in my Details

So, Scott got laid off.  You know it's not good when you're a project engineer, and your project is over... and then they announce a company-wide "employment status meeting."  You know it -- or you should.

The thing is, we'd seen all these interesting things come to pass.  I should mention here that the company is based out of Texas, with half a dozen offices in different TX locations.  Scott felt very inspired to apply for his P.E. (professional engineering license) in Texas, which was odd, because he shouldn't have been able to get it for another year, at least not in Utah.  But lo and behold, Texas is a state with loopholes, and we'd never have known about them had he not been prompted to look for them.  So he became a TX professional engineer.  That's kinda a big deal.  He also had the most powerful company man in Utah in his corner, which we thought meant more than it apparently did.

In some ways, it's been a devastating blow.  The way it struck both of us seemingly out-of-nowhere (I guess you could call us foolish optimists?) left us in a state of shock for a few days.  And completely overwhelmed, as we determined we had no hope for getting medicaid or food stamps due to our 401k.

Merry Christmas!  We have no income!
But in other ways, it's reminded me how individual our paths are.  Having other friends whose lives have turned out differently -- especially those who have very stable jobs -- has made me embarrassed to share our situation with them.  So if you didn't get a Christmas card, just know it wasn't exactly the year where we were really all that excited to send them.  Which was a complete shame with the cute pictures.

And after getting over the embarrassment and shock, I've been filled with a bit more understanding about paths, Heavenly Father's great love for us, and what really matters.

On a good day, my routine is: scriptures, journal, then prayer.  Shortly after this happened, I got all the way up to prayer and was still feeling pretty bitter.  And I start my prayer, and I'm listing off how bad everything is, and how much we need a job, and very clearly I could just feel the Lord saying, "Mickelle, you are not forsaken.  You have money.  You just have to spend it," and he made it all sound so simple.  Because it was.

So, living off our nest-egg isn't exactly the stuff of dreams.  But I've learned that what matters is that I am in God's hands.  Which is a much safer place to be than in the government's hands, so I guess they can keep their stinkin' prenatal medicaid.  I've learned it's not important that my neighbors notice or care what kind of job we have, and also that I get to choose how much stress I feel.  The Lord has asked (commanded?) me to lay my burdens at his feet and yolk myself to him.  I find when I give him my burdens, trusting him to take care of me, I have so much more energy to continue with cheer.  And on really good days, I can even lighten others' burdens despite my own.


Megan said...

I'm sending good luck wishes! I'm here by way of Josh and you seem so lovely and sweet, I'm so glad he pointed the way!

Holly Decker said...

Love this and love you. You guys are amazing and my heart goes out to you.

The Nat Nat said...

I am very sorry to hear about Scott being laid off. I was laid off once and I knew the company was running out of money and I was still surprised and devastated.

Just know that everything happens for a reason and maybe something amazing is around the corner for you. Keep your head up, be positive, and look for ways to serve. You will be surprised how many blessings can come your way.

Good luck with everything, and let me know if I can help.

The Nat Nat said...

Just saw this:

"If for a while the harder you try,
the harder it gets, take heart.
So it has been with the best people who have ever lived."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Amanda said...

Man, that really stinks. (And I realize that pert sentence doesn't even begin to describe it!) But I also believe that we're encouraged to save money for these exact situations.

I have a (hopefully) short story for you that I hope will help. When I worked for KBYU, the financial planning arm of the insurance company came and spoke at a company meeting. Part of their topic was to speak about saving money--and just putting away what you could. One family was only able to afford about $5/paycheck, so that's what they put away. After a period of time, their car broke down and they had to get it fixed. It turned out that the amount required to pay for their car was the exact amount they had in their savings account. The point was then made that their efforts were enough.

I know the efforts you guys have made prior to this event are enough. And that you'll continue to be blessed. I'm actually quite looking forward to seeing what's in store for you guys! :)

Amanda said...

P.S. I nominated you for a blog award! See my blog for details. :)

AustinFamily said...

Russell was laid off one day after Tiff's last cancer treatment in mid-November so we are right there with you. We, too, know that God is aware of us and is in the details of our life...even if life is challenging. We are grateful that we have some savings to survive on until we find work.

ali.lutz said...

Ok you clearly don't know me but I just started following your blog and I want you to know I think you're adorable! and thanks for the reminder about the Lord's hand in our lives!

Heather said...

Look I found your blog. You can thank Josh Weed for that, who can then thank you for leading me to his. My bit of wisdom that I've learned after 18 months of living like a poor person--poverty is a state of mind not a state of economic well-being. Not that you wanted or needed my 2 cents. Being jobless sucks. I am sorry. In my prayers.